Re: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
Greta, I love the whole thing, the sounds and images, though I don't quite know what's going on I think I get enough and I like it. I really wish I had an inkling who or what "you" is. Is the "you"...
View ArticleRe: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
I agree that your rewording makes it clearer who "you" is -- I will incorporate it. Thanks for your comments! As for welkin, I found it on a site of "old fashioned words." Gotta love the web.
View ArticleRe: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
Beautiful and thought-provoking, Greta Sue. I second Toni's edit, and suggest that "beings" might be a little vague. If you could say more precisely what creatures they are, I think that would add...
View ArticleRe: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
Hi shelters us from the temporal, clocked, calendared, disappearing Is there an indication of a lengthened period of time involved in these words? 'clocked, calendared, disappearing" Sivakami...
View ArticleRe: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
This poem really shines, Greta, because of your word choice. I love that a laugh can glisten. My only suggestion would be to put the flame to "enduring love." Even delight would be better, and play as...
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this poem was nice i can seeyou sitting between two mountains letting your words flow nice
View ArticleRe: Welkin (5 card draw and first line variation)
Greta Sue, I like this too. The syntax in the final sentence goes astray and leaves me unsatisfied and unsure what I've read just at a time when I'm expecting the lid to be nailed down. "Your delight...
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